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How Leaders Can Manage Conflict Through Relationship Dynamics 

Conflict is an inevitable part of any team environment, but how it’s managed can make all the difference between a thriving, cohesive team and one that’s fractured and disengaged. Leaders play a critical role in how conflict is navigated, but it’s not just about resolving surface-level disagreements. Successful conflict management is deeply tied to understanding the relationship dynamics within the team. 

In this blog, we’ll explore how leaders can use relationship dynamics to manage conflict more effectively, focusing on recognizing common patterns, understanding emotional energy, and taking a proactive role in fostering healthy communication. 

Recognizing Conflict Patterns in Relationship Dynamics 

When conflicts arise within a team, it’s easy to focus on the immediate issue—whether it’s a disagreement over a project, differing opinions, or even personality clashes. However, these surface-level conflicts often point to deeper relational dynamics that are at play. 

Conflict is often driven by underlying emotional processes that spread throughout the team. For example, tension between two individuals can quickly affect the broader team if not addressed. One common pattern that emerges in these situations is the formation of a “triangle,” where two people draw a third party into their conflict, either to mediate or to diffuse the emotional intensity. While this dynamic may stabilize relationships temporarily, it doesn’t resolve the core issue. 

Emotional Energy and Conflict Transfer 

In any team, emotional energy—whether positive or negative—flows between people. When anxiety or tension builds up between two individuals, it can become too intense to handle directly. Rather than addressing the issue head-on, the individuals involved may transfer that tension onto others, creating a cycle of unresolved conflict that impacts the entire team. 

For example, imagine two team members, Alex and Jamie, who are struggling to work together on a project. The tension between them is palpable, but instead of discussing it with each other, they both approach their team leader, Sarah, asking for help. Sarah now finds herself caught in the middle of this conflict triangle, absorbing the tension that should be resolved between Alex and Jamie. 

This dynamic, though common, can be problematic if left unchecked. By drawing Sarah into the conflict, Alex and Jamie may feel momentary relief, but the underlying tension remains unresolved. Triangles like this can lead to further instability within the team if not properly managed. 

The Leader’s Role in Managing Conflict 

Leaders are often pulled into conflict because of their natural role as decision-makers and problem-solvers. However, effective conflict management requires more than just solving the immediate problem—it involves addressing the relationship dynamics that fuel the conflict in the first place. Here’s how leaders can navigate these dynamics to manage conflict more effectively: 

  1. Don’t Get Pulled into the Triangle 
    When conflicts arise, it’s natural for team members to turn to their leader for resolution. While it’s tempting to step in as the mediator or problem-solver, leaders need to be cautious about becoming too involved in conflict triangles. Instead of absorbing the tension, a more effective approach is to help team members address the conflict directly with one another. Stepping into the role of the “rescuer” can reinforce unhealthy dynamics and prevent real resolution. 

Instead, facilitate open communication between the conflicting parties. Encourage them to discuss the issue directly, with your guidance, if necessary, but avoid taking sides or becoming the third point in their triangle. 

  1. Facilitate Healthy Communication 
    One of the most important roles a leader can play is fostering a culture of open, honest communication. Conflict often arises because team members don’t feel comfortable expressing their concerns or frustrations directly. Leaders can help by creating a safe space where difficult conversations can happen and by encouraging transparency and vulnerability in team interactions. 

In practice, this might look like setting up regular check-ins where team members can voice concerns or offering conflict resolution workshops that teach skills like active listening and constructive feedback. When communication is open and respectful, conflicts are less likely to escalate and more likely to be resolved quickly. 

  1. Encourage Accountability 
    In many cases, conflict arises when individuals feel overburdened or underappreciated. One team member might be doing too much, while another is doing too little, leading to resentment and tension. Leaders can address this by ensuring that roles and responsibilities are clearly defined and that everyone is held accountable for their contributions. 

By regularly checking in on workloads and making sure tasks are distributed fairly, leaders can reduce the likelihood of conflict caused by unequal effort. Additionally, encouraging team members to take ownership of their actions and communicate openly about their challenges can help prevent small issues from snowballing into larger conflicts. 

  1. Empower Team Members to Resolve Conflicts 
    A key part of managing conflict through relationship dynamics is empowering team members to resolve their own conflicts. Rather than stepping in to solve every issue, leaders can coach their team on how to handle conflict constructively. This might involve teaching conflict resolution strategies, facilitating role-playing exercises, or simply providing a framework for difficult conversations. 

When team members feel equipped to navigate conflict on their own, they’re more likely to approach disagreements with a problem-solving mindset, rather than relying on the leader to step in. This not only leads to faster conflict resolution but also strengthens the team’s overall cohesion and resilience. 

  1. Identify and Address Underlying Issues 
    Often, the conflict we see is just the tip of the iceberg, with deeper issues simmering beneath the surface. Whether it’s a clash of personalities, differences in work styles, or unresolved tension from past interactions, these underlying dynamics can create a breeding ground for ongoing conflict. 

Leaders should take the time to understand what’s really driving the conflict. Are there longstanding issues between certain team members? Is the workload distributed unfairly? Are some team members feeling undervalued or unsupported? By identifying the root causes of conflict, leaders can address the problem at its source, rather than just treating the symptoms. 

Building a Culture of Conflict Resolution 

Managing conflict through relationship dynamics isn’t about avoiding disagreements or stepping in to fix every issue. It’s about creating a culture where conflict is seen as an opportunity for growth, not as a sign of dysfunction. Leaders who understand the emotional energy and relational dynamics within their team can more effectively navigate conflict and foster a culture of open communication, accountability, and empowerment. 

The goal isn’t to eliminate conflict—it’s to manage it in a way that strengthens relationships and promotes collaboration. By recognizing the patterns at play, addressing the underlying dynamics, and empowering team members to take ownership of their own conflicts, leaders can transform moments of tension into opportunities for growth. 

In the end, a team that knows how to navigate conflict constructively is a team that can thrive in any environment. 

Picture of Steve Utech

Steve Utech

Steve’s life mission is to unlock the mysteries of complex human interactions to make people’s work and personal relationships more meaningful, productive, and satisfying. All things niche and complex are food for his ADHD brain. He’s a geek at heart with irreverent humor, but also has a deep love of people. An experienced leader in the areas of culture optimization, organizational effectiveness, and team development, Steve is the visionary and founder of illumyx. His background in both the hard sciences and the art of family dynamics allows him to take a behavioral and systematic approach to organizational change and transformation. He has worked with Fortune 1000 organizations and executives in a variety of sectors to help them optimize their culture and achieve results. Steve holds a Master of Social Work from the University of Denver in Colorado and a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Minnesota. An adventurer at heart, Steve spends his free time exploring nature with his 4 kids and anyone up for testing their limits. He enjoys rock climbing, backpacking, and finding brief moments of rhythm out on the dance floor. Above all, he enjoys seeing people grow and develop by giving them the freedom to explore and try new things. As someone once put it, “Steve makes it safe to be dangerous.”
Picture of Steve Utech

Steve Utech

Steve’s life mission is to unlock the mysteries of complex human interactions to make people’s work and personal relationships more meaningful, productive, and satisfying. All things niche and complex are food for his ADHD brain. He’s a geek at heart with irreverent humor, but also has a deep love of people. An experienced leader in the areas of culture optimization, organizational effectiveness, and team development, Steve is the visionary and founder of illumyx. His background in both the hard sciences and the art of family dynamics allows him to take a behavioral and systematic approach to organizational change and transformation. He has worked with Fortune 1000 organizations and executives in a variety of sectors to help them optimize their culture and achieve results. Steve holds a Master of Social Work from the University of Denver in Colorado and a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Minnesota. An adventurer at heart, Steve spends his free time exploring nature with his 4 kids and anyone up for testing their limits. He enjoys rock climbing, backpacking, and finding brief moments of rhythm out on the dance floor. Above all, he enjoys seeing people grow and develop by giving them the freedom to explore and try new things. As someone once put it, “Steve makes it safe to be dangerous.”
Max Kresch

Max finds creative problem solving deeplyfulfilling is highly disciplined in his approach to research. He brings an advanced mathematics background to illumyx with significant experience in machine learning techniques, computer programming, and complex statistical analysis.

 

Max has experience working on complex Department of Defense projects and he recently transitioned his career into social science research. An erstwhile lecturer on data science at the University of Wisconsin, Max is gifted at communicating complex topics in easy-to-understand ways. Max assists the team in survey analysis and reporting and provides oversight on research design and analysis.


A father of two with a passion for music. In his free time, you’ll find him at a local park with his kids, cruising on his rollerblades, or jamming on his guitar with one of several bands he plays in. 

Max Kresch, PhD

Senior Data Scientist

Andrew Fleck

Andrew (Drew) Fleck, PhD, is a results-oriented organizational leader, certified executive coach, behavioral scientist, consultant, and entrepreneur. Drew is driven to add value to peoples’ lives by helping them become more self-sufficient. No matter what role he plays, he focuses on helping clients build strategic foresight into their organizations. He is a natural collaborator who looks for opportunities to partner and build-up others’ skill, knowledge, and confidence.

 

Drew is highly pragmatic and objective with a unique ability to think clearly under pressure. We can thank the US Air Force for that trait.  His studies and practical experience make him an expert in leadership, learning, organization design, organization development, innovation, and entrepreneurship. Over his career, he performed a number of strategic roles that aligned him with his love for travel and learning about different people and cultures.  He has a reputation for transforming organizational systems from a reactionary transactional approach to a proactive strategic approach.

 

Drew started his career in High Tech, but has since worked across a variety of industry and government sectors. Drew holds Master’s and Doctoral degrees in Human and Organizational Systems from Fielding Graduate University and a Master’s in Management and Organizational Behavior from Silver Lake College.

Andrew Fleck, Ph.D.

Chief Behavioral Scientist

Kristy Krautkramer

Kristy is a highly organized, strategic thinker and planner. She helps bring focus and levity to the nerd kingdom at illumyx. Committed and caring are two words that describe her best and she has endless energy to support projects and causes she believes in. Her background in music, teaching, and finance brings greater efficiency and harmony to illumyx’ processes and team interactions.

 

Kristy leads operations for the illumyx team, specializing in administrative functions that include finance, HR, and employee onboarding. Her love for order and accuracy frequently find her leading qualitative analysis projects for illumyx.  A former educator, Kristy has a Master’s degree in Education from St.Norbert College.  


Kristy is the mother of four boys. She often unwinds by hosting large gatherings for family and friends, having a good laugh, enjoying a glass of wine (or a swig of tequila), and diving into niche romance novels.

Kristy Krautkramer, M.A.​

Business Specialist & Qualitative Research Analyst

Dan Ritter

Dan is a data geek with a passion for computational social science and its applications in the workplace. Dan has never been a fan of the left-brain vs right-brain dichotomy–he is a dedicated all-brainer. He believes in the power of data to help us better understand human behavior at scale, and also that a healthy dose of humanity is required to accurately interpret data and apply insights with wisdom and tact.

 

Two of his favorite quotes sum up his approach to work:

 

“Without data, you’re just another person with an opinion,” W. Edwards Demming

 

“...people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” Maya Angelou.


In his free time, Dan enjoys wilderness camping with his family, reading, and tinkering with anything that can be taken apart. A lifelong learner, he holds a BA in Education, is currently pursuing his MS in Data Science, and has amassed a growing collection of certificates from fine institutions around the country.

Dan Ritter

Director of People Analytics

Steve Utech

Steve’s life mission is to unlock the mysteries of complex human interactions to make people’s work and personal relationships more meaningful, productive, and satisfying. All things niche and complex are food for his ADHD brain. He’s a geek at heart with irreverent humor, but also has a deep love of people. An experienced leader in the areas of culture optimization, organizational effectiveness, and team development, Steve is the visionary and founder of illumyx.

 

His background in both the hard sciences and the art of family dynamics allows him to take a behavioral and systematic approach to organizational change and transformation. He has worked with Fortune 1000 organizations and executives in a variety of sectors to help them optimize their culture and achieve results. Steve holds a Master of Social Work from the University of Denver in Colorado and a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Minnesota.

 

An adventurer at heart, Steve spends his free time exploring nature with his 4 kids and anyone up for testing their limits. He enjoys rock climbing, backpacking, and finding brief moments of rhythm out on the dance floor.

 

Above all, he enjoys seeing people grow and develop by giving them the freedom to explore and try new things. As someone once put it, “Steve makes it safe to be dangerous”.

Steve Utech, MSW

Founder, CEO, and Director of Consulting​

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